Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Survival is complicated and incredible. We are innately wired with a sophisticated stress response system that allows us to survive hard things. To put it simply (although this is an oversimplification) there are 3 primary default responses to threat. First we seek social connection—safe people. If safety is not found … Continue reading Compliance as a survival response
Tag: Trauma
Shame is the feeling or belief that we are somehow flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. If we are capable of connection and empathy, we are vulnerable to shame. It is a common human experience. Unlike guilt, which is the conviction that I did something bad, shame is the feeling that I am bad. … Continue reading The Benefit of Shame
We live in a broken world. If we exist long enough, we will be exposed to hard things—trauma, grief, injustice, physical illness, and human tragedy. We are designed to live in community, and we are designed to care about people. Our existence depends on it. From our earliest moments our survival is highly impacted by … Continue reading Understanding Secondary Trauma
I love my job. I honestly believe that it is the best job in the world. But on some days, I don’t want to go to work. Some days I have a bad attitude—I get stuck in anger or self-pity. Have you ever had this experience, where different parts of you emerge at different times? … Continue reading Working with Parts
The primary function of our brain, to put simply, is to survive. This requires physical safety. This also requires an element of emotional and psychological safety (otherwise suicide would not be as prevalent as it is). As discussed before we are innately wired with the capabilities to survive very difficult things. But if the threat … Continue reading Why is Healing so Hard?