Why can’t we be friends?

Counseling is a unique experience. It is vulnerable, raw, excruciating, and profound. The therapeutic relationship is unique and unlike any other relationship. The therapeutic relationship can be difficult to understand but it is one of most important factors that influences the outcome of therapy. Because the therapeutic relationship is so unique, and perhaps mysterious, it … Continue reading Why can’t we be friends?

Compliance as a survival response

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Survival is complicated and incredible. We are innately wired with a sophisticated stress response system that allows us to survive hard things. To put it simply (although this is an oversimplification) there are 3 primary default responses to threat. First we seek social connection—safe people. If safety is not found … Continue reading Compliance as a survival response

Understanding Secondary Trauma

We live in a broken world. If we exist long enough, we will be exposed to hard things—trauma, grief, injustice, physical illness, and human tragedy. We are designed to live in community, and we are designed to care about people. Our existence depends on it. From our earliest moments our survival is highly impacted by … Continue reading Understanding Secondary Trauma

The truth about playing the victim

We have all heard the term “playing the victim”. I hate this phrase, and I have been guilty of using it a time or two. We use this term to describe someone who in our mind chooses to be victimized or otherwise places blame on others. Someone who avoids taking responsibility. At times it suggests … Continue reading The truth about playing the victim

The Complicated Nature of Boundaries

Boundaries are a common topic in the realm of mental heatlh.  This is because boundaries matter.  They are integral to attachment—how we give and receive care.  They are integral to safety and the way we care for ourselves. Brene Brown describes boundaries in simple terms, “what is okay and what is not okay”. Boundaries and … Continue reading The Complicated Nature of Boundaries