Not too long ago I saw a meme come across my social media feed stating, “90% of your life is a reflection of your habits”. It went on to say that your weight, health, financial stability, and happiness are up to you. While I value self-responsibility this post felt, well, privileged. I get the same … Continue reading The Privilege of Wellness
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Survival is complicated and incredible. We are innately wired with a sophisticated stress response system that allows us to survive hard things. To put it simply (although this is an oversimplification) there are 3 primary default responses to threat. First we seek social connection—safe people. If safety is not found … Continue reading Compliance as a survival response
Shame is the feeling or belief that we are somehow flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. If we are capable of connection and empathy, we are vulnerable to shame. It is a common human experience. Unlike guilt, which is the conviction that I did something bad, shame is the feeling that I am bad. … Continue reading The Benefit of Shame
The primary function of our brain, to put simply, is to survive. This requires physical safety. This also requires an element of emotional and psychological safety (otherwise suicide would not be as prevalent as it is). As discussed before we are innately wired with the capabilities to survive very difficult things. But if the threat … Continue reading Why is Healing so Hard?
In my most recent post I delved into the some of the ways a trauma survivor might interact with the others that could potentially set the stage for relationship troubles. This post was a simplification of the complexities and frustration experienced on both sides of the relationship. I want to take time now to explain … Continue reading The Dreaded Drama Triangle