Counseling is a unique experience. It is vulnerable, raw, excruciating, and profound. The therapeutic relationship is unique and unlike any other relationship. The therapeutic relationship can be difficult to understand but it is one of most important factors that influences the outcome of therapy. Because the therapeutic relationship is so unique, and perhaps mysterious, it … Continue reading Why can’t we be friends?
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Survival is complicated and incredible. We are innately wired with a sophisticated stress response system that allows us to survive hard things. To put it simply (although this is an oversimplification) there are 3 primary default responses to threat. First we seek social connection—safe people. If safety is not found … Continue reading Compliance as a survival response
Mindfulness exercise abbreviated and adapted from Dan Siegel's wheel of awareness exercise. Mindfulness is the art of being aware of our internal and external experience. Mindfulness allows us to recognize and stay curious about each part of our experience--our thoughts, our emotions, our sensations--without being swept away by them. After all, each of these is … Continue reading Mindfulness Meditation
Shame is the feeling or belief that we are somehow flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. If we are capable of connection and empathy, we are vulnerable to shame. It is a common human experience. Unlike guilt, which is the conviction that I did something bad, shame is the feeling that I am bad. … Continue reading The Benefit of Shame
Compassion. Easy to preach and difficult to practice. If you know me personally or have read my previous blogs you may know that I am a recovering perfectionist. Perfectionism is often accompanied by harsh judgment of self and others which is in stark contrast if not the complete opposite of compassion. As a result, in … Continue reading 3 Assumptions for Compassionate Living