Compliance as a survival response

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Survival is complicated and incredible. We are innately wired with a sophisticated stress response system that allows us to survive hard things. To put it simply (although this is an oversimplification) there are 3 primary default responses to threat. First we seek social connection—safe people. If safety is not found … Continue reading Compliance as a survival response

The Benefit of Shame

Shame is the feeling or belief that we are somehow flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. If we are capable of connection and empathy, we are vulnerable to shame. It is a common human experience. Unlike guilt, which is the conviction that I did something bad, shame is the feeling that I am bad. … Continue reading The Benefit of Shame

3 Assumptions for Compassionate Living

Compassion. Easy to preach and difficult to practice. If you know me personally or have read my previous blogs you may know that I am a recovering perfectionist. Perfectionism is often accompanied by harsh judgment of self and others which is in stark contrast if not the complete opposite of compassion. As a result, in … Continue reading 3 Assumptions for Compassionate Living

Self Worth as Stewardship

Self-care is stewardship of the gifts (internal and external) we have been given. When I am a good steward of myself, I am less likely to burn-out or experience resentment. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com I work with hurting people. A common goal in my counseling practice is to increase self-worth. This is understandable as … Continue reading Self Worth as Stewardship

Working with Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses and potentially life threatening, and they are very complex. Many people want to see the illness as a “disorder of choice,” as if the person made the “choice” to have an eating disorder and should make the “choice” to stop having one. It’s important to understand that well meaning advice may be going to a brain that has been hijacked by a mental illness.