We live in a broken world. If we exist long enough, we will be exposed to hard things—trauma, grief, injustice, physical illness, and human tragedy. We are designed to live in community, and we are designed to care about people. Our existence depends on it. From our earliest moments our survival is highly impacted by … Continue reading Understanding Secondary Trauma
I love my job. I honestly believe that it is the best job in the world. But on some days, I don’t want to go to work. Some days I have a bad attitude—I get stuck in anger or self-pity. Have you ever had this experience, where different parts of you emerge at different times? … Continue reading Working with Parts
The primary function of our brain, to put simply, is to survive. This requires physical safety. This also requires an element of emotional and psychological safety (otherwise suicide would not be as prevalent as it is). As discussed before we are innately wired with the capabilities to survive very difficult things. But if the threat … Continue reading Why is Healing so Hard?
In my most recent post I delved into the some of the ways a trauma survivor might interact with the others that could potentially set the stage for relationship troubles. This post was a simplification of the complexities and frustration experienced on both sides of the relationship. I want to take time now to explain … Continue reading The Dreaded Drama Triangle
We have all heard the term “playing the victim”. I hate this phrase, and I have been guilty of using it a time or two. We use this term to describe someone who in our mind chooses to be victimized or otherwise places blame on others. Someone who avoids taking responsibility. At times it suggests … Continue reading The truth about playing the victim