Shame is the feeling or belief that we are somehow flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. If we are capable of connection and empathy, we are vulnerable to shame. It is a common human experience. Unlike guilt, which is the conviction that I did something bad, shame is the feeling that I am bad. … Continue reading The Benefit of Shame
Tag: secondary gains
The primary function of our brain, to put simply, is to survive. This requires physical safety. This also requires an element of emotional and psychological safety (otherwise suicide would not be as prevalent as it is). As discussed before we are innately wired with the capabilities to survive very difficult things. But if the threat … Continue reading Why is Healing so Hard?
In my most recent post I delved into the some of the ways a trauma survivor might interact with the others that could potentially set the stage for relationship troubles. This post was a simplification of the complexities and frustration experienced on both sides of the relationship. I want to take time now to explain … Continue reading The Dreaded Drama Triangle
We have all heard the term “playing the victim”. I hate this phrase, and I have been guilty of using it a time or two. We use this term to describe someone who in our mind chooses to be victimized or otherwise places blame on others. Someone who avoids taking responsibility. At times it suggests … Continue reading The truth about playing the victim
At one time or another, we all desire or at least consider change. We want better things for ourselves or the people we hold close. Perhaps we life isn't what we hoped it would be. No matter the reason, change is HARD. And it is UNCOMFORTABLE--sometimes excruciating. And in deciding what we want, we also … Continue reading Getting Unstuck
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