The ADHD Journey: My ADHD Toolbox

By Chellsea Sparks, M.A., LPC-Associate

Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder can impact numerous areas of functioning for neurodivergent people. These areas can include social, occupational, family, financial, and overall life functioning. The symptoms of ADHD involve the executive functioning portion of the brain. Executive functioning encompasses the cognitive portion of the brain that is responsible for decision-making and processing. Executive functioning is directly related to self-regulation. Individuals with ADHD may struggle to figure out what works for them to manage symptoms. Neurodivergent people can work toward building skills and tools to help manage symptoms of ADHD.

In building an ADHD toolbox it is important to figure out what areas or symptoms that we struggle with, so we can decide what skills need to be addressed. Examples of areas or symptoms could be time-management, planning and problem-solving, organization, self-motivation, self-restraint, and emotion regulation skills, etc. Once we have figured out what we want to address then we can approach skills to address these things. The next step in building an ADHD toolbox is to recognize how we must modify the environment, not ourselves. It is about making the environment work best for you, not adjusting yourself to fit into a neurotypical box. You can ask yourself questions like “What things can be changed in the environment?” and “what type of learner am I?” Furthermore, removing distractions in the environment while completing a non-enjoyable task can be helpful.

Here is a list of some things we can put in our ADHD toolbox to help with symptoms:

• Exercise or stay active: Getting moving can help with focus and concentration. This is a good source of healthy dopamine.
• Body doubling: Having someone who is in the room with you while you do the task will help you complete the task (Accountability Buddy).
• Physical or Visual Cues: Timers with colors and visual representations may help with tasks. An example of this could be a timer that moves from green, yellow, and red to indicate a decrease in time.
• Organization: Use clear bins, tray by the front door for keys, phone, wallet, etc. Use auto shut off for appliances or light switches when possible.
• Consistency: Keep a schedule for sleeping or eating, pick up or clean for 15 minutes a day, and add routines for self-care.
• Appetite: Protein, protein, protein. Keep it simple. If you are having a hard time feeding yourself, find a protein bar, shake, or powder to put in whatever beverage you prefer.
• Practicing Mindfulness: Allowing ADHD thoughts to come and go while letting them float away.
• Take Breaks: Take breaks when necessary but return after 15 minutes. Use a visual timer for this. This may help with hyperfocus, which can impair overall functioning—for example, being so focused that you don’t feed yourself or forget important appointments.
• Recognize our feelings: Recognize emotional regulation difficulties by acknowledging the feeling and allowing yourself to feel this in a constructive, assertive, and respectful way. Practice self-compassion to help you let go of guilt/shame.
• Being open: Be open to feedback from those around you that love you and respect you. Decrease defensiveness through practicing self-compassion and address mistakes. Finding your ADHD tribe is important.
• ADHD APPs: Geolocation apps can help with remembering certain tasks like picking up milk on the way home, a calendar with alarm reminders with scheduled reminders leading up to the appointments can also help.
• Export tasks: Try to export or delegate tasks that are hard to complete and focus on ones that you enjoy or have an easier time completing. For example, if you hate dishes, but like doing laundry, then see if you can always be the person that does the laundry in the household. If you are able, maybe you can work a few extra hours and use the income to hire someone to do the task(s) that you dread.
• Prioritize: Quicker deadlines may help with completion and minimize sources of high-appealing distractors that may distract or disrupt task-directed mentally represented information.

It is equally important to remember what shouldn’t be in our ADHD toolbox to help us improve executive functioning. Consider that shame shouldn’t be in your ADHD toolbox. Shame will continue the cycle of non-task completion. If we shame ourselves before starting the task because we don’t believe we will complete it, then we may not even attempt it at all. This is an all or nothing approach because of the “shame” message we tell ourselves and feel. Remember, shame isn’t an emotion that our brains make organically. It is the messages that we tell ourselves from the reactions or perceptions of the environment. These corrective messages of shame that we send ourselves don’t benefit us. Shame is the armor that we carry around to prevent us from being seen or heard and accepting and compassionate towards ourselves and others.

Moreover, unrealistic expectations shouldn’t be in our ADHD toolbox. We cannot expect perfection. Unrealistic standards will set us up for failure and continue the cycle of non-completion of tasks and negative feelings. I like to call this concept the “unperfect perfectionism.” To deal with shame and unrealistic expectations we must tell ourselves a different message of self-compassion and realistic expectations. It is important to recognize that shame doesn’t serve us, but rather keeps us stuck in a cycle or all or nothing. Additionally, stay clear of the all or nothing trap. It is sometimes better to do something 20% than 0%. It is equally important not to have avoidance in our toolbox. Whether this be avoidance of tasks, conflicts, feelings, etc. Avoidance creates another cycle in which we are stuck.

Remember to separate yourself from your symptoms. You are not your ADHD. Having ADHD doesn’t make you a lazy or an unmotivated person. It just means that you process a lot of things at once and quickly. This can be a superpower and positive thing if you let it be. Everyone is different, and it is important to figure out what works best for you in building your ADHD toolbox. There is no right or wrong answer to this. In conclusion, avoiding negative and shameful self-talk, building an ADHD toolbox that uses skills that you need and like, and finding positive support can make all the difference in the world when approaching ADHD.

To learn more about Chellsea and her work with ADD/ADHD click here.

You can also contact Chellsea directly at 806-680-3695 or chellseasparks@amarillo-counseling.com to set up a consultation for ADD/ADHD evaluation or counseling.